Over a year ago I met separately with two of my mentors here at Westminster Theological Seminary (WTS): Dr. Iain Duguid, my pastor at Christ Presbyterian Church and an OT professor; and Dr. Brandon Crowe, an NT professor and my faculty advisor.

My question in each of the meetings was essentially the same:

“If I have three ‘open doors,’ which two should I close so that I can move forward through one of them?”

The open doors were my own impoverished metaphor for describing my future after studying at WTS. It seemed to me that there were three different options—all feasible and worthwhile:

1. I could go back to doing what I had done before WTS: teaching high school in a classroom setting.
2. I could go on to pastoral ministry.
3. I could go on to doctoral research in biblical studies (probably on Matthew’s Gospel) and eventually teach at the post-secondary level.

And in entirely separately conversations, both of my mentors wisely told me not to shut any doors.

They affirmed that I have spiritual gifts and life experience fitting for all three, yet they challenged me to see that the doors are neither mine to close nor really doors at all. They kindly gave me advice for #2 and #3, and they sent me on my way with prayer.

Afterward, the Spirit convicted me concerning my idolatrous attitude of control, which manifested in my attempt to compartmentalize and thereby master my future. I resolved to honor the Lord and his sovereign control of the future first by relinquishing the open doors metaphor and second by acknowledging what the Bible says in

Prov 16.9

(BHS [Consonants])	(Translation)
לב אדם יחשב דרכו ויהוה יכין צעדו	the heart of a man plans his way, but YHWH determines his step.

The heart of a man plans his way, but YHWH directs his step.

Prov 16.9

In planning, I cannot presume to force my Lord’s hand. Now I must be diligent to pursue all that he has put before me and allow him to give and take away in his time.

In my renewed resolution to look upward while I move forward, I started to consider how the three “doors” might be three descriptors of one vocation. I am still not quite sure what it would look like, but I think that this mission to Nairobi might be a hint.